“I Don’t Want to Leave a Mess for My Family”

By Philip Kavesh, Attorney

 

One of the most heartfelt things I hear from clients is this:

 

“Phil, I just don’t want to leave a mess for my family.”

 

 

When people say that, what they usually mean is something deeper. They mean, “I love my family. I do not want them burdened, confused, stressed, or overwhelmed when I am gone. I want to make things easier for them.”

And that desire to spare your loved ones unnecessary stress may result in one of the most meaningful gifts you can leave behind — A proper estate plan.

Most people think estate planning is only about having the right legal documents in place. Of course, that matters. But there is another part of planning that is often overlooked: making sure the people you love can actually find what they need, understand what they are looking at, and know what to do next.

That does not require a complicated system. It just takes some basic organization and a little follow-through.

A Lesson I Will Never Forget

Years ago, when an uncle of mine passed away, I flew back East to help with his estate.

 

At first, I thought things would be simple. His office looked neat. But once I started opening drawers and looking through cabinets below his bookcase, I discovered years of accumulated papers, loose documents, old files, and incomplete financial records.

I filled six large trash bags with papers that were redundant or worthless for estate purposes. Even then, I was left with a pile of paper about two feet high that still had to be reviewed in detail.

And the office debacle was only the beginning.

 

Other rooms, closets, and shelves in the house were packed with boxes, photos, old letters, memorabilia, and piles of mail. Because something important could have been mixed in, I and the family had to go through all of it anyway.

What I remember most clearly is not just the amount of paper, but what it did to the family.

 

There were three or four of us rummaging through things at the same time, and the process became very stressful. Our interactions became frayed. We argued over which papers were important, how they should be organized, and who should take the lead. What should have been a time of grieving and supporting one another became, unfortunately, a very emotionally charged environment that we all had to live through for those few days.

 

To make matters worse, it was very hot, and the air conditioning in the house was not working properly. We were literally sweating our way through the entire process.

And then there was the financial cost.

 

As I pieced together old statements from stock companies, mutual funds, and brokerage firms, I discovered that my uncle had failed to claim stock holdings and dividends that had been sitting with third-party transfer agents for years.

The result? Hundreds of thousands of dollars in stock ultimately wound up escheating to the state!

 

Later, after the estate was completed and the home had been sold, the family learned there had been a hidden wall safe containing jewelry, cash, and other valuables. By then, those items legally belonged to the buyer of the home.

I am quite sure that was not what my uncle intended.

 

What a Better Outcome Looks Like

I have also seen the other side of this.

 

A client recently told me that when his mother passed away, she left everything in a neatly organized folder: important documents, practical instructions, and even a checklist of who to call.

He told me, “Phil, settling Mom’s affairs went so smoothly, I can’t tell you how grateful we were.”

 

That is exactly the outcome most people want.

 

The difference was that his parents had not only done their estate plan with us, but had also properly used the practical tools we provided with their plan in their “Living Trust Owner’s Manual.”

Using the blank forms in the Manual, they prepared:

 

✓  A location list of key documents

• Contact information for family members and advisors
• Directions for distribution of personal property

 

They also kept important documents, such as deeds and insurance policies, in one place, and they had our Successor Trustee Manual where it could be easily found with the Owner’s Manual to guide the person in charge step by step.

That kind of preparation can save your family stress, confusion, time, and expense. More than that, it can give them comfort at a time when they need it most.

A Simple Step You Can Take Right Now

Take out your Living Trust Owner’s Manual and look for the tabs marked “Location List” and “Directions Letter."

Pull the forms behind the tabs and make copies. Fill them in. Then keep them where the right person can easily access them when needed.